Break Dancing Deer

So tonight, as I drove to get my son from daycare, trying to make it there in time, while still driving under the speed limit because 1. it was foggy and 2. there are a lot of deer out here. and 3. I don’t drive well with fog and stupid drivers, I hit a deer.

I have never hit a deer. EVER. I am always on the look out. Ever since I was little and my mom flipped her jeep to avoid a deer, and my grandmother would take us driving around at night with a spot light to see the deer in packs at night, I have always tried to be extra vigilant. Tonight, I was not able to safely stop in time. So I hit a deer. I was a wreck. I was surprised the thoughts that went through my head before I even got out of my van. I parked the van, put on my hazards, and got out to see if the deer was still breathing. A vehicle passed me, and then pulled over once he saw why I stopped. I got our to assess the deer, and saw the deer was still breathing. My first thought was (not even kidding) “Should I comfort the deer until an ambulance or someone from animal control shows up?.”  That’s when the guy who stopped brought my attention back to reality.He told me I should call 911. So I called 911 as the deer laid there, breathing, but not moving…until dispatch answered and I told them the situation, I was LITERALLY on the border between Frederick county and washington county so that took some explaining. I told the dispatcher the deer was starting to move.

As this deer started to move, it resembled a breakdancing deer…if there were such a thing. After enough spinning in circles on its side, the deer tried to get up. It could not give up. I was giving the dispatch details and found myself asking if I should try to keep the deer where it was at. The dispatcher asked how I would do that, and I replied “I could sit on it  or something” where she replied to not get too close to the WILD animal  in a tone that told me she had not heard this often. She did emphasise WILD. The deer then finally got up, fell over in a “I’m drunk, what happened to my legs?” multiple times and ran into the woods. Relieved, I told dispatch the deer ran off. After I told dispatch this, it came back, falling down multiple times. I heard others who stopped to see what was going on asking if we should hold the deer down. In retrospect maybe I should have spoken more to these people because they had the same idea that I did. I was worried about the deer, I did not want it to suffer if it was going to die but I also did not want it to keep drunkenly running back and forth across the road, in the fog, as it was doing now. So I was told to wait til both animal control and an officer showed up.

I luckily had two decent people who stayed with me until the animal control person showed up. (not that the others weren’t decent!) Thankfully the deer did not run back into the road in the ten minutes that had passed. I decided to believe the deer ran off and lived happily ever after…Then I found myself thinking about the The Bloggess and how she may actually think this deer was super cute. Then I questioned my sanity and brushed it off. I don’t find the bloggess to be insane, I just didn’t know why I actually thought of her blog and book at this time.

Thankfully, or maybe un-thankfully, the animal control person did not find the deer, the state trooper had more important things to do, and I left to pick up my son from daycare, late.

It was a sad-ish night, but I did get to see a deer break dance (kinda), met some people, (I don’t know their names) and have to get my front bumper fixed.I made it safely home, and am glad that I am home.I only passed 4 deer on the way home and they did not run out in front of me. I am not sure if this was due to their awareness or the fact that maybe they could smell relative on my van…

Drive Safe People. And do not sit on deer.

xoxo – Amber



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